As a child I had an active imagination that often would amaze my mother. I also had the faith of a child that had no problem believing in a mighty God who created the Heavens and the Earth. Once when I was aroung 4 or 5, when my father was stationed in Biloxi, Mississippi, I was playing below the clothes line, digging a big hole in the ground with a tablespoon from mom’s kitchen. My mother and one of her friends came out to see what I was up to. I quickly became annoyed when they asked me over and over what I was digging for.
” Really? I’m a kid, digging in the dirt, just because it is dirt and I can dig in it! That was my thought, but it wasn’t my answer. Instead I finally looked up in their eyes and said…”I’m digging for the devil!”
“Digging for the devil…why?” Mom looked at me sort of stunned at my answer.
“I’m gonna dig up the devil and take him to church, and get him saved.”
Needless to say, that is an impossibility, but back then I didn’t know that. I just figured that it would stop a lot of bad things that were going on in the world. I mean I had faith that God could change the devil’s wicked heart. I had not seen the devil, nor had I physically seen God. I just believed that both existed, just like I do today with the faith of a child. The only difference in then and now…God has proven to me his existence in my own life. I’ve seen the effects of God on different things in my life and his affect on people who give their lives to him. I’ve also been proven the existence of Satan, through his affect on people who willingly make choices to sin, and to get involved in witchcraft and other things of the devil.
A part of me is thankful for my childlike faith that has been willing to accept Christ without too many questions. But there are things I do question from the Bible, like why people found it hard to believe in God even after seeing his miracles. Really! How could someone see Jesus heal a lame man…a man they had known to be lame all his life…and not believe in Jesus after seeing the healing? How could the Hebrews not believe and trust God after seeing the power of God in the sending of the plagues and so many miracles in the wilderness? It baffles me…stuns me…absolutely makes me question the level of intelligence these people had! When I read about God’s power throughout the Bible, and the miracles he did throughout the Bible, I just can’t understand how people then would not fall to their knees and simply believe. All I can think is that much like the athiests of our day, they just chose to live in denial of the truth, and wanted to put a scientific answer to a faith question.
This poem is a result of all those times when, again and again, in my devotion time I would read about a miracle of God, and see a response of doubt and disbelief of the people. For me, believing is easy, I’ve never doubted the existence of God, or the deity of Jesus, even when I wasn’t a Christian. I believed in God, but refused to become a Christian because of how the Christians I knew acted which I saw as hypocritical. But my faith that there was indeed a God, and that Jesus was God’s Son who had died on the cross for our sins, was always there. I had just not surrendered myself to Christ because I didn’t want to be a phony Christian like the ones I was angry with. But had I seen the miracles of God first hand like the people in the Bible did, I think I would have overlooked how other people were and believed immediately based on what I saw. I guess that is where I struggle with disbelief with God’s Word. How could they not believe after seeing the miracles? Here is the poem that came from my disbelief.
Why Couldn’t They Believe?
(To Jesus Christ, my reason for living and giving)
Why couldn’t they believe
When You provided the sacrifice,
When the burning bush was on fire?
Why couldn’t they believe
When a cloud led by day,
When the fire led at night,
When the Red Sea was opened,
And dry land was in sight?
Why couldn’t they believe
When a star shone in the east,
When the angels sang of glory,
And the night was filled with peace?
Why couldn’t they believe
When the water turned to wine,
When he healed the sick and lame,
And gave sight to the blind?
Why couldn’t they believe
When they touched the Master’s hand?
Couldn’t they tell that this teacher
Was more than just a man?
Why couldn’t they believe
When he raised Lazurus from the dead,
When he drove the demons to the swine
And out of the insane?
Why couldn’t they believe
When He died upon the cross,
When He gave his life for everyone,
So we would not be lost?
Why couldn’t they believe
When He rose up once again,
And rolled the stone away,
When he walked the road to Emmaus,
Or showed the scars that day?
Why must they see
More signs that He is Christ?
They put more faith in make-believe,
Or in luck when rolling dice.
Why can’t they believe
That he’s the great I Am,
The One who paid the sacrifice,
To free us all from sin?
Why can’t they believe?
By: Bonita L. Ledzius…copyright 2005
In a way this was a prayer to the Lord, asking him to help me understand why others still don’t believe in him, so that when I spoke to a non-believer I wouldn’t come across as if I looked down on them, or as judgemental, or condescending. I wanted to understand their lack of faith and trust in God, who I believed in so easily. Sometimes we need to ask God to help us understand those who are lost, so we can help them find their way back to God.
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